Maroon 5 "Red Pill Blues" Album Review

Alright, guys, it is time for a review of the new Maroon 5 album “Red Pill Blues.” Maroon 5 is a pop-rock band that’s been around for decades at this point, and they were even making popular music when I was a kid, with tracks like “This Love,” “She Will Be Loved,” and “Makes Me Wonder,” which was essentially the culmination of their success at the time, as it was their first Billboard Hot 100 chart-topper. After a few years without a huge chart-topper, they returned with numerous big songs, such as “Misery,” “Moves Like Jagger” (their second chart-topper), “Payphone” (which peaked at #2), “One More Night” (another chart-topper), “Love Somebody,” “Maps,” “Animals” (which peaked at #3), “Sugar” (another one that peaked at #2), and plenty of others. They’ve continued to release chart-topping singles, and yet, the group seems to be really polarizing: some people enjoy their tracks and find them pretty fun, others think they’re trash and they should get out of music. Regardless of the discord, I’ve generally found most of their stuff to be pretty okay, with a few decent takeaways here and there. So now, here they are, back with a brand-new album, horrific front cover and all, and they’ve included some already big hits on this, like “Don’t Wanna Know” and “Cold.” So, does this album deliver? Well, let’s see:

Best 4 U: I really like the hook on this track a lot, but outside of that, the song itself is really forgettable. Even for all the energy it has melodically, Adam Levine’s vocal performance is relatively boring, and the song doesn’t have really any charm to keep it from feeling like way too many of Maroon 5’s other songs. A weak start to this album.

What Lovers Do (ft. SZA): Not counting “Don’t Wanna Know” and “Cold,” this was the first true single off of this album. And guess what? It’s a really boring, EDM-fueled track that really doesn’t have any charisma or charm, doesn’t have a decent hook, and doesn’t warrant any kind of repeat listens! Oh, and while SZA’s guest appearance doesn’t hurt this song, it doesn’t help it at all. Maybe it’s just me, but never has something this poppy and EDM-y made me want to just fall right asleep.

Wait: As upbeat and poppy as this track is, it’s once again really boring. The hook is not that bad, but all-around, it just feels like more of the same, with little charm or outstanding elements to set it apart. Not one of the worst on this album, but nothing really great.

Lips On You: Initially, I was really interested in this track, because I wanted to hear Levine go with something a bit slower, but unfortunately, this slower song only enforces my problem with the album so far: it’s painfully boring. This track is really dull and boring, and Adam Levine’s vocal performance honestly sounds kind of “whatever,” like he’s not really at his most charismatic at all. The saving grace of the song is the pretty decent beat, but other than that, I can’t say I really enjoyed this track.

Bet My Heart: Again, I was pretty excited for this track, because I started to think “Maroon 5 going acoustic? Cool!” And then the electronic drum beat kicked in and my mind just said, “dammit.” Again, Levine lacks really great emotion on this song, and while the hook is not one of the album’s worst, you probably won’t remember it after one listen. Sorry, I didn’t want to hate this album, but so far, this is not a good start at all.

Help Me Out (ft. Julia Michaels): Instrumentally, I like the way this one starts out, and sonically, it’s actually not that bad. The hook is also some decent fun. However, neither Adam Levine, nor guest star Julia Michaels, provide really memorable vocal performances here, and they don’t have enough charm for me to forgive the track’s familiarness. It’s not the worst on the album for sure, but it feels like a lot of wasted potential.

Who I Am (ft. LunchMoney Lewis): Some good things are going on with this track. There’s a good instrumental and a relatively decent hook. Unfortunately, the instrumental transitions to the chorus are weak, Adam Levine’s performance leaves something to be desired, and guest rapper LunchMoney Lewis’s verse is enough to kill the whole damn song for me. It doesn’t, but unfortunately, it keeps this from really being a good one.

Whiskey (ft. A$AP Rocky): Again, I thought this was gonna be kind of different for Maroon 5, but nope. Nope nope nope. Sonically, same thing as usual. Hook, boring. Adam Levine’s performance, not enough to make this one worth another listen. And as they’ve been doing lately, this track features a rapper on it, namely A$AP Rocky, whose verse and performance are as forgettable as pretty much every other rapper that’s been featured on a Maroon 5 song. One of the album’s weaker songs.

Girls Like You: I like the faster string-plucking on this song, and while the beat is very standard, Adam’s performance is actually pretty good. I like his vocals a lot, and the hook is pretty enjoyable. Not gonna lie, this is probably the first good song on the album. Too bad it comes so late into this thing.

Closure: Not counting the bonus tracks, the album ends with an 11-minute track. ELEVEN MINUTES! MAROON 5, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING ANYMORE?!?!?!?!?! And you know what? The song literally has NOTHING that sets it apart at all. There’s hardly any charm, any wit, any excitement on this track. Even if it’s an upbeat song, it’s as cliché as they come, and Adam’s vocals cannot save this song at all. And I don’t care if the trading riffs throughout this are “cool” or anything like that, this track has literally NO BUSINESS being 11 minutes long. Hell, the few “solos” on this thing don’t even provide any really strong variety, and sometimes, it’s even hard to notice that solos are going on because the looping track overpowers everything else. It was already enough that the song sounded as generic as possible, but now this generic, boring song has to go on for 11 minutes? Jeez…and now there are bonus tracks to review! Great, just great.

Denim Jacket: Okay, I made it through that 11-minute marathon, so on to the bonus tracks: while I do like that Adam’s vocal performance is a little more emotional on this track, I think the hook and beat on this are enough to put me to sleep. It’s nothing I haven’t heard from Maroon 5 before, and even though Adam’s performance is not terrible, it’s still not enough to save this thing.

Visions: I don’t know what it is, but the beat on this song feels kind of out-of-place for me, and it feels like the beat and the sound of the hook just don’t mesh well together. And Adam’s vocals on this track are filtered in such a way that they attempt to mask his lack of emotion and boring inflection in his voice. There are some fun moments on this track, but all in all, this one is just really forgettable.

Plastic Rose: I actually really like the beat on this track, but other than that, everything about this track just feels so average. I also noticed that on the verses, the instrumentals overpowered Adam Levine’s vocals, which makes me wonder if they were again trying to hide his lack of emotion and charisma. The hook is also just as forgettable as the others on this track, and while it’s not one of the album’s worst, I’d like to forget about it as soon as possible.

Don’t Wanna Know (ft. Kendrick Lamar): This one is a year old, and by now, I’m pretty sure we all know it. Some people hardcore hate it, and I can certainly see why: it’s very standard pop-music with nothing that really sets it apart from various other Maroon 5 songs, the hook is really repetitive, and the song itself doesn’t really use Maroon 5 or Kendrick Lamar’s talents to their full potential. However, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have fun with this one, because for some reason, I really like the sonic melody on this, and Adam’s vocals and flow are really fun on this one. I’m not gonna lie, this was actually a replay-button breaker at one point, and while this might get me some hate, I actually still like the song.

Cold (ft. Future): In my eyes, I kind of saw this as a “follow-up” to “Don’t Wanna Know,” and I also see it as an improvement over that track, with another great sonic melody, even more great vocals from Adam, and a less repetitive, really fun hook. Still doesn’t use its featured rapper to his full potential (this time it’s Future, not Kendrick) and the song would’ve been fine without him, but all in all, I do really enjoy this track and this was (and still is) a replay-button breaker. Glad the album ended with this track, at least.

Okayyyyy, final thoughts: I’m not gonna get super-duper angry this time around, but I will say, I did not like this album whatsoever. Just looking at the front cover, and then hearing that Maroon 5 regrets naming this album “Red Pill Blues” made me a bit worried, and it turned out that my worries were proven with this album: a lot of the instrumentals and beats on this thing are blatantly unoriginal and boring, Adam Levine’s vocals feel uninspired and lack charisma, and the hooks, which are usually the saving graces of many of Maroon 5’s singles, are largely hit-or-miss. I’m sorry, I can’t say that this album was legitimately good at all. I can only say that I enjoyed three songs on this thing, and two of those songs are bonus tracks that were released as standalone singles (“Don’t Wanna Know” and “Cold” were not released to promote this album, they were released as singles on their own and then kind of just thrown onto this thing), so take those away and I’m left with just one song I enjoyed. I suggest that you stay far away from this album. If you want to listen to the singles, fine, but otherwise, just avoid this thing. Unless you’re on a hunt to find pop music that can actually put you to sleep, stay away at all costs.

I don’t even have time for a Maroon 5 pun, I need to go sleep. Bye guys.

Favorite tracks: Girls Like You, Don't Wanna Know (YES I LIKE THIS SONG BACK OFF), Cold

Least favorite tracks: Best 4 U, What Lovers Do, Whiskey, Closure, Denim Jacket

Rating: Awful