B: The first track on this album starts with some really nice call-and-response vocals from featured artists Willow Smith and Pia Mia, and the very light instrumental almost feels like a very nice lullaby. It’s when Jaden’s rapping kicks in that this track just gets destroyed. His rapping overall just feels kind of silly, and it’s a shame because the track starts so well, and I love Willow and Pia Mia’s vocals. Too bad the randomly heavy instrumental change and Jaden’s rapping have to ruin that.
L: Being this is part two of four tracks, the seamless transition into this track makes it feel like it’s not even a separate song. And the lyrics on this track feel really wonderfully personal for Jaden, his performance is actually pretty passionate, and luckily, there’s not nearly as much cringe here. Not sure I’ll be looping this track (mostly because it feels like it needs to be played with the other parts), but it’s a really strong track overall.
U: The intro to this samples a song by Lido called “Falling Down,” and it feels like it goes on for a bit too long. And while Jaden’s performance is certainly passionate, we’re starting to enter the “cringe lyrics” territory (Jaden wants to let everyone know that he’s “artichoking.” But that’s just “the art of choking.” Genius). Couldn’t really get behind this track.
E: The last part of “Blue” starts off with a really confusing, really boring hook from an unknown vocalist, and Jaden’s performance, while subdued and appropriately “blue,” is overly-repetitive and a bit too boring. Not the worst track on here, but it’s nothing too memorable overall.
Breakfast (ft. A$AP Rocky): Another perfect transition between tracks aside, Jaden once again brings some really strange lyrics to the table, his performance feels very repetitive already and I’m not even that far into the album, and the instrumental on this two-part song is nothing special. A$AP Rocky is also featured on this track, but you’d hardly know it, to be honest, and when he does poke his head out from the abyss, it’s nothing too memorable.
Hope: I’m not gonna really comment on the transitions from here on out because each track just seems to lead into one another perfectly. Overall, though, Jaden notes that he’s “switching it up” on this one, and yet, here is it, giving us the exact same flow as always in his unconvincing performance, and he even repeats the same lyric about Martin Luther King from a few tracks ago. This track was already boring enough as it is and, even if some cool instrumental moments are going on in this one (especially at the end), it had no business being six minutes long.
Falcon (ft. Raury): Despite being more upbeat and party-esque, the beat on this track is not really that fun, and instead it just feels really bland, just like Jaden’s performance and flow. The lyrics aren’t particularly “cringe-worthy” here, but there’s nothing really that memorable, and featured artist Raury…well, when he sings, it sounds like discount Nate Ruess, and when he raps, again, you’re not gonna remember it. As someone that plays Captain Falcon in several Super Smash Bros. games, they’ve brought shame to the Falcon name.
Ninety: While I appreciate the more R&B sound of this one, the hook is really forgettable, Jaden doesn’t give us any memorable lyrics on this track, and his performance is just a lot more boring. While I do think this has a clever transition when he says “fuck this, not recording anymore,” it transitions into something that just feels really out-of-place and awkward. And again, this track has no business being as long as it is (over seven and a half minutes on this one). It’s not one of the worst on the album, but that’s by virtue of it not being as “terrible” as the other stuff.
Lost Boy: Oh, but if you thought “Ninety” was too long, get ready, because “Lost Boy” clocks in at just under ten minutes. What in the world was Jaden thinking with that? And for some reason, it starts off with a light, acoustic guitar melody. Again, I’m very confused. And while said guitar melody is pretty nice, the track itself is really boring, unexciting, lacking-in-energy and all-around forgettable. Jaden repeats himself a lot throughout this track, and while he doesn’t have a really bad voice, his performance is weak, as it lacks any kind of charisma or charm at all. I can’t believe Jaden didn’t look back on this track and say “hmm, that is a bit too long. And I do repeat myself a bit. Maybe I should try to fix that!” The fact that it’s on the album in the state it’s in is just baffling, and look, you guys know I don’t mind a more acoustic song, but for TEN MINUTES across ONE song? Hell no. Oh, and how about a few less shoutouts at the end? That would’ve helped.
Batman: Alright, no more super-long tracks. Unfortunately, this one just feels really repetitive throughout, Jaden’s flow and performance are boring, and in all honesty, there were points where I started to wonder if Jaden was just trying to recreate Drake and Future’s “Jumpman” on this one because if that's what this was, it’s a dollar-store, rip-off version.
Icon: In a song that essentially amounts to a victory lap around his success in the entertainment industry, Jaden continues to repeat the same lyrics throughout the song, and despite a passionate performance, he doesn’t really convince me that he's “an icon living.” Instead, it just feels like every other song on this record, sonically and vocally, and it just feels like he’s so stuck in his comfort zone that no one will budge him out of it. An icon living? No. A delusional son of an icon living? Yes.
Watch Me: For some reason, Jaden decides to go with an industrial, kind of punk-rock sound on this track, and while the guitar riffs are quite cool, the rapping just doesn’t fit well with the instrumentals. It’s not one of the album’s worst because it’s still reasonably fun, and it’s short enough, but it’s really boring, and I don’t think Jaden should go for this kind of sound again.
Fallen: While I once again like the R&B vibes on this one, and I think the lyrics are pretty sweet, this track features another really boring performance from Jaden, and I’m not crazy about the fact that he’s making some already-outdated pop culture references on the track. The beat is also nothing you haven’t heard before. Not one of the worst on the album, but I’m telling you, never has an album made me feel legitimately sick to my stomach until now.
The Passion: Oh look, another song that starts off with a promising instrumental ruined by repetitive lyrics and another performance from Jaden that does absolutely nothing to differentiate itself from his other tracks! Wow, what a huge surprise! I never would’ve expected such a thing to happen!
George Jeff: Admittedly, the hook on this one is not that bad, and there are a few decent moments on the verses, but otherwise, his performance still feels very similar to other tracks, and there are very few decently memorable lyrics on this one. Another track I don’t think is one of the album’s worst, but it’s just completely unmemorable by every stretch of the word.
Rapper: Once again, I like the instrumental melody on this one, and you know what that means! Jaden is going to crush my hopes and dreams by providing the same tired, boring, unmemorable performance he always gives, his lyrics are gonna be genuinely unmemorable, and there will be very few redeeming factors overall. Huzzah!
Syre: Somehow, I made it through this damn album, even though it made me sick to my stomach. Anyway, the final track on this mess is an entire spoken-word poetry track, and as someone that writes spoken-word poetry, this should be right up my alley, and I do think it’s a relatively decent track. I think there’s a decent rawness on the track, even though the lyrics still need some work, and I’m not too crazy about the random voices coming in out of nowhere, as they only serve to draw me further away from what’s already not the greatest story in the world. Still, it’s not a bad track, and at least it’s a small glimmer of hope for Jaden’s future: maybe he’ll ax his over-ambitious plans to become a musician and just become a spoken-word poet. If he can make his stories a bit clearer, I’m sure his career will go off without a hitch.
Yeahhhhhh, I shouldn’t really need to say much more at this point, this album sucks. If I said anything more, I’d be repeating myself just like Jaden, so let’s call the review here, and let me advise that you stay as far away from this album as you possibly can. And if you happen to see the album in stores, please report to whatever retailer you are at that they need to remove all copies from their shelves to protect customers, because no one deserves to torture themselves with this garbage. Take safety hazards if you ever come into contact with the album, and if you choose to disobey my request and listen to it anyway, call your doctor to make sure your mental health hasn't been negatively affected by this album.
Just don't listen to it, it's nonsense.
Favorite tracks: L (if I had to pick one)
Least favorite tracks: U, Breakfast, Hope, Falcon, Lost Boy, Batman, Icon
Rating: Awful
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