Anne-Marie is an England-born singer who I’m sure you’ve heard of if you live in England, as she's had several hits over there, but if you’re like me and you live in America, you may have heard of her in 2016-2017 when she worked with Clean Bandit and Sean Paul on the track “Rockabye,” a song that ended up being her first entry in the Hot 100 and one that ended up peaking at #9 on the chart (and also, ended up reaching #44 on the Year-End Hot 100). If that doesn’t ring a bell, you may know her from the recently-released single “FRIENDS” with Marshmello, a song that has thus far reached #21 on the Billboard Hot 100 and is also featured on this record right here.
Now I can’t really say much about my personal opinion on her in this part of the review as I only know her from “Rockabye.” And granted, I like that song…really like it, in fact, it’s stuck with me throughout 2017 into 2018, but I’m not familiar with her other songs. I’ve been hearing some not-so-positive things about this album, so I’m not sure what to expect, but hey, let’s just give it a shot, shall we?
Cry: Essentially a post-breakup song where Anne-Marie talks about an ex who is probably regretting leaving her, everything about this cut just feels so "whatever" to me. It’s got a very loud, poppy instrumental with an overpowering drum beat, and admittedly, I don’t really find her vocals to be all that interesting here. Sure, they’re powerful, but I just don’t feel like they’re anything too special. Same goes for the hook, it’s just nothing special. It’s just a “whatever” song.
Ciaos Adios: A song that sees Anne-Marie officially saying goodbye to the ex that had an affair with her, this is another track that just feels very “whatever” to me. I actually find Anne-Marie’s vocals at several points in the song to be somewhat charming, but I feel like this is just a very standard EDM track and, while the hook on this one isn’t too bad, it doesn’t really leave a lasting impression on me. Not one of the worst on the record, but nothing too special.
Alarm: Another track about someone doing bad things in a relationship? Come on, we’re only on track three and each song thus far has to do with a breakup! Either Anne-Marie has had some unfortunate luck with boys, or there’s one boy that really hurt her. Either way, this is another cut that doesn’t leave much of a lasting impression on me. The hook isn’t too bad on here, but a lot of this just feels like very basic EDM/pop-flavored music without any charm or energy to help it feel anything better than standard. Meh, next.
Trigger: ANOTHER TRACK ABOUT AN EX/THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP? COME ON!!!!! Ugh, anyway, I was liking the way this one started, it’s got a plenty bright instrumental that feels pretty bouncy, but slowly, it just starts to feel so bland and contrived, complete with a pretty weak hook and a beat-drop severely lacking in charm. I’m fine with the whole “beat-drop breakdown” thing in EDM if it’s something kind of charming, but here, it’s just whatever. Bleh, next.
Then: Do I have to repeat myself? It’s a track about an ex, what do you expect at this point? Anyway, this is a somewhat slower and darker track, and…you know what, I’ll just talk about this one in the form of a multiple-choice question: do you think I’m gonna say this track is, A. A wild ride filled with great twists and turns, B. Better than some of the others on the album, but still feeling like it’s been done better by others, or C. Complete dreck? If you answered “B,” then you are correct! The song isn’t TOO bad compared to the others here, but it just feels like something that’s been done better by other artists.
Perfect: Okay, finally, we have a song that DOESN’T talk about a breakup or the end of a relationship. Instead, she talks about how her imperfections make her perfect. Wow, I wonder where I’ve heard this before…oh, only EVERYWHERE!!!!! And when the track is so bland and Anne-Marie’s vocal delivery throughout the song just feels so unenthusiastic, it just doesn’t make the track feel genuine or exciting, it just feels like yet another “I’m perfect just the way I am” song, and while that’s definitely a good message to spread, the cut itself just doesn’t spread it enthusiastically. Though I did like the line where Anne-Marie says “I’ll love who I want to love, because this love is gender-free,” the rest of the song just feels dull and lifeless to me, unfortunately.
FRIENDS (ft. Marshmello): This song has apparently been described as the “friend-zone anthem.” Now look, I personally think that being in the friend-zone is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, because at least you and the other person can remain as friends and not completely hate each other, so I’m not really all that interested in the more aggressive, hard tone the song takes about establishing the friend-zone. And beyond that, even though there are some cool acoustic guitar moments in the song, all of this just comes off as really laughable to me. I don’t know what it was but the song had me giggling uncontrollably throughout because of its sheer silliness. Partly because the song itself is pretty dull, but also because my mind couldn’t stop thinking “did anyone in the world really ASK for a ‘friend-zone anthem?’” I would hope not. Next.
Bad Girlfriend: Okay, so NOW we’re back on the ex-lovers and stuff, only this time, Anne-Marie flips it back to HER and claims that she is the bad one in the relationship…well, acceptance is the first step to recovery, I guess. That said, it seems like she essentially tells her lover to “get used to it,” indicating that she wants to stay in the relationship. I’m sensing some rather odd morals on the track. And beyond just feeling so dime-a-dozen, the song comes gift-wrapped nicely with a post-chorus that is beyond the typical EDM-annoyance. I thought you couldn’t get much worse after “FRIENDS,” to be honest. But, here we are. Let’s get away from this one. Quick.
Heavy: Oh hey, look, a song about fading love! Wow, Anne-Marie is clearly tackling SO MANY DIFFERENT TOPICS on this record. I see so many differences and intricacies throughout this album, don’t you? Oh, my sarcasm only makes this slightly more tolerable to sit through. Though, admittedly, this song wasn’t all that bad. Sure, it’s very standard, EDM music, but at least Anne-Marie has some vocal charm on this track. No, it’s nothing I want to go back to in the future, but hey, at least it’s listenable.
2002: A song surprisingly co-written by Ed Sheeran, Anne-Marie reminisces on a past relationship and thinks of all the big songs from 2002 that were important in the relationship…though I heavily question the nature of this relationship, given that Anne-Marie was 11 years old in 2002 (and I know she mentions that she and this lover were only 11 and acting like adults, but that doesn’t mean I won’t question it because they’re 11 and kissing, what’s going on here?). Now, admittedly, I find the hook to be kinda fun here, as it interpolates several big singles from 2002, and it’s got a cool, bright EDM instrumental, but it once again feels like something I’ve heard several times before. Also, the mere idea that this song is about a relationship between 11-year-olds honestly just has me yelling “SONG ABORT! SONG ABORT!” Seriously, Ed, you wrote this? Come on, man, have some dignity!
Can I Get Your Number: Is this an attempt to make a tropical dancehall song? Because it’s not a great one. Sure, it’s got a good idea lyrically (as cliché as these songs are, it’s kinda cool to see Anne-Marie kind of defying gender norms and being the one to ask for the guy’s number instead of the other way around), but I just feel like the song again gives off so much of a “been there, done that” vibe. It might be bright and somewhat fun, but it’s also extremely contrived, too.
Machine: A somewhat slower, more downbeat song, Anne-Marie decides to ask what it would be like to be a machine. Look, girl, I know I mentioned that I would’ve liked to see some variation in the lyrical topics, but with this one, you’re out in left field with a tennis racket. Not only that, but apparently while you’re out there, you also brought a very boring, overdone beat and instrumental with you and started singing over it. When you’re on a baseball field, you’re supposed to catch the ball that comes at you, not start singing! Ugh, and now we have five “bonus tracks” to get through. Greeeeeeeeat…….
Breathing Fire: A song that compares love to dragons, this once again feels like Anne-Marie trying to come through with a strange topic without putting any care into it. Meanwhile, she also provides some very cheesy vocals when she says “LIKE WE’RE BREATHING FIRE” on this one, and the instrumental is so painfully dull and overdone, I just can’t describe it any other way than that. But hey, if she wants to make this album so repetitive, she’s unfortunately gonna get a review with some repetition because it’s hard to describe these songs any other way. Sorry, Anne-Marie.
Some People: Soured relationship song #245 is upon us, and it’s a more downbeat, darker track than some of the other ones. It’s got a decent vibe to it, but it feels like it almost doesn’t even have a hook. The hook on this is so unenthusiastic that it just feels like Anne-Marie stepped in the studio, shrugged her shoulders before the hook, and just kinda half-heartedly sang it. With how basic this whole song feels, that doesn’t help whatsoever.
Used to Love You: I’ve been told that in the time between this song and the last, Anne-Marie managed to create double the amount of “relationships that went sour” songs that she had before, so I’m gonna called this “soured relationship song #490.” And honestly, in the intro, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was copying “She Loves Control” by Camila Cabello. Actually, given that her vocals don’t really sound all that distinct, I wouldn’t be shocked if Camila was one of the artists that she was inspired by. Either way, more dull, boring EDM/pop stuff here. Next!
Peak: Admittedly, I originally had a joke here about this being another generic “soured-relationship” song, but given the stripped-back feel of the cut, and the fact that this actually sounds like it came straight from the heart, I can’t make a joke about it. It’s honestly heartbreaking hearing Anne-Marie question if doing something as simple as breathing and eating caused her lover to walk away. And, for what feels like the first time, I think she pulls off that emotional angle really well here. It’s clear she’s singing from the heart on this, and that’s what makes it work. Anne-Marie, why did you just include this one in the Deluxe Edition? This is easily one of the best tracks you have, push it a bit more!
Rockabye (Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie): Oddly enough, though, despite this being one of Anne-Marie’s most popular songs, she only included it on the Deluxe Edition of her album. Probably because it’s actually Clean Bandit’s and she’s just a featured artist, but either way, it’s a song that I still dig. I’m usually a fan of Clean Bandit’s production on songs, and that's no different here. It’s bright and energetic, and I find the hook to be really catchy and fun. Anne-Marie proves she’s got some good vocals here, and Sean Paul provides one of his typically fun performances on his verse of this one. I’m glad Anne-Marie decided to end her album with this, especially after the rest of the record outside of “Peak” was…yeah, you know.
Yeah, this album was that bad. I didn’t think I would dislike it this much, but man, Anne-Marie had such a great song with “Rockabye.” How did she not follow it up with anything remotely interesting? Actually, it probably had to do with Clean Bandit not being around for it, but eh, whatever. This is painfully dull and basic electronic/pop music that focuses on a lot of the same topics throughout, handling them in a very generic, cookie-cutter way. And to top it all off, outside of “Peak,” Anne-Marie just doesn’t come across on many of these tracks as an interesting performer! You know what, I don’t want to waste any more of your time, so let’s just wrap this up: this album sucks, don’t listen to it, stay far, far away from it, be nice to the people you’re in love with, and don’t write songs about falling in love at 11. It’s creepy.
If anything, just listen to “Peak” and “Rockabye.” They’re both pretty worthwhile tracks.
Favorite tracks: Peak, Rockabye
Least favorite tracks: Trigger, Perfect, FRIENDS, Bad Girlfriend, 2002, Machine, Breathing Fire, Used to Love You
Rating: Awful
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